The picture accompanying this article is of me holding a homemade squishy ball. I carry this ball with me in the top pocket of my backpack; it goes where I go.

Why?

Because it is generally frowned upon to hit walls or scream loudly in public places, and that is just what I feel like doing when a panic attack hits. Also, I don’t have a soothing, furry wall and a drugged-up rock star encouraging me to stay calm like in Get Him to the Greek. I have to make do with less-intense, but far more reasonable options.

Enter the homemade squishy ball!

I picked up this ball while in treatment and it has been a helpful, inert companion for when I feel overly anxious. It doesn’t yell at me, it doesn’t criticize me, and it doesn’t give me unhelpful advice. No, all it does it let me work out my aggression by pulverizing it.

This handy ball is made of uncooked rice contained in a small balloon. Simple, cheap, and wonderfully effective at mitigating the physiological symptoms of anxiety.

With anxiety or panic attacks, the trouble comes from feeling out of control. Your heart and breathing rates increase, blood is shunted to your extremities, and you feel like you’re about to jump out of your skin. Giving your hands something to do is a fantastic way to soothe your overactive stress response.

Anxiety is one of the reasons why I also carry my Memento Mori coin with me to work or when I give presentations. I may not have the room to carry my soothing squishy ball, but I can always fit a coin in my pocket or wallet, and take it out when I feel the need to fidget with something. If nothing else, I am soothed by the presence of my calming totem, which gives me greater power over my anxiety.

The ball and the coin are part of my self-soothe kit. It also contains gum, pleasant-smelling hand lotion, and lip balm. This way I have something to occupy all five senses. If I have a bad panic attack, I can bring out all of the items and drastically increase the likelihood that I can calm myself down.