“How do you feel?” Having spent the entirety of my adult life in therapy, this is easily the most exasperating question that I am asked. During my ninety days in treatment, I was asked that question every hour, on the hour, in each group class I attended. Just so we’re clear, I have a subtle warning sign in my slate of responses:

• “I’m well” = no cause for alarm, Gordon is doing a-okay.

• “I’m alright” = Gordon’s having a rough day.

• “I’m fine” = Please ask Gordon how he’s feeling again, and a few more times if he keeps avoiding the question.

Before my ninety days in treatment I would have typically responded to the question of, “how do you feel,” with one of those three options — “Well,” “alright,” and, “fine”. Sadly, my usual responses were not permissible. I had to choose a feeling from the Wheel of Emotions.

There are many emotion wheels out there, but they all center around six primary emotions:

• Fear

• Anger

• Sadness

• Love

• Joy

• Surprise

One might feel love, and that is a permissible answer, but one could also feel something more specific in that emotion. A conversation with a trusted friend might have someone feeling compassionate or peaceful. The point was to zero in on how we were feeling and give a true answer.

This taught all the clients to be more intentional with how we thought about our emotions, and to respect one another by not hiding how we felt at the start of each class. Some days I went from a 10AM class feeling excited, to an 11AM class feeling dismayed.

I believe the greater point of this exercise is to really drive home that feelings change, and that they sometimes change for no noticeable reason.

I’ve woken up happy, sad, energized, demoralized, hopeful, and anxious. Every morning is different even though I do the same nightly routine to give myself the best opportunity for good sleep. I’ve felt eager for a speech one minute, and despair the next minute. I’ve been caught in wave after wave of emotion, but I never learned to surf.

I learned emotional intelligence as an adult — I often wonder if I would be healthier now if I had learned the skill of emotional intelligence as a child. A young kid will not know the difference between fear and hysteria, but they can learn that there is a difference. That there are shades to all the colors of emotion that a human being experiences, and that if we learn to check in with ourselves, we can get a pretty accurate description of how we feel.

While in the midst of social distancing, many parents are looking for things to do to engage their young children. I’ve seen a lot of excellent videos of parents doing different activities to help their kids expand their physical bodies, but I haven’t seen many of exercises that develop their emotional intelligence. To help parents find new activities to fill the abundant amount of time that’s in the day, here are a few videos that are kid-specific, and one that talks about how video games can be used to refine self-control.

The first step towards building emotional intelligence using mindfulness is through emotional awareness. In this video, we help children nurture a sense of emotional awareness by being in tune with their feelings by associating them with physical senses.

Check our website for more:

http://www.fablefy.com
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Who doesn’t like cute animals?

Follow along with your kids as they learn the very basics about mindful breathing aka “the young person’s introduction to meditation.”

OTHER AWESOME GAMES TO IMPROVE SELF-CONTROL

1. My Feelings Game. Fun Educational Family Game to Help Kids Express Their Emotions and Learn self Regulation. Endorsed by Dr Temple Grandin and Other World Renown clinicians and Educators: https://amzn.to/2NnmRXn

2. Social Emotional Games NoWaries S.T.O.R.M. | Best Educational Learning Resources for Kids & Adults | Emotional Awareness, Control, & Vocabulary: https://amzn.to/2QgbPpe

3. Mad Dragon: An Anger Control Card Game | Designed for children aged 6 to 12 | Fun & therapeutic card game teaching anger control: https://amzn.to/2LDx6ER

4. Go Fish: Swimming Toward Self Control | This game addresses the importance self-control and impulse control during school, home, and after-school activities | Designed for children aged 4 to 12: https://amzn.to/32Po2Cz

https://www.mightier.com/. From their website:

Kids see their emotions comes to life on the screen with the Mighty Band heart rate monitor. The games get harder as they have to practice calming skills in order to win the game.

Parents connect with a clinical coach to set goals, track progress and practice strategies to help your child apply the calming skills from the games to real life situations.

Your kid practices calming skills with Mightier for 45 minutes per week, building muscle memory. Tap into our community to share and connect about progress!”