Forgive the absurd title. It’s a boiled-down, click-bait assault on your lizard brain. I use it because I know it works; just know I also feel an appropriate level of shame for using it.

“Men are growing weaker.” Compared to whom? I doubt I’m as physically capable of running an antelope to death as my hunter-gatherer ancestors were, but I’m confident I can best any of my ancestors in mediating conflict without bloodshed. This pernicious and idiotic idea that modern men are weaker compared to men of old as being a problem is just as useless as the comparison that kids today are softer than kids in the 1930s, or 1840s, or 3000 BCE.

I’m quite glad I don’t have to work in a coal mine at thirteen years old to help support my family, and I bet my forefathers would be cheering me while I use the conveniences of our modern era:

• “You have running water ALL the time? Hell yes, enjoy that hot shower!”

• “Seriously, you don’t worry about polio?”

• “You stayed in school beyond the sixth grade? Tell me what you learned!”

I’m less skilled with an axe than a medieval Viking, and it’s unlikely I’d win a fight against a Hasashin of the Crusades. Yet, my critical thinking skills are likely to far outstrip theirs’, and it’s a good bet that I can read and write far better than they could. They’d be stronger than I am, but I could out think any of them without breaking much of a sweat.

In an increasingly globalized world where collaboration gets us further than combat, the “might makes right” idea is being pushed to the periphery because physical strength is no longer the sole measure of an individual man or the best measure of a society.

There is fascinating data that shows men, on average, are getting physically weaker than their fathers and grandfathers. Primarily as a result of industrialized countries moving away from manual labor jobs as the core of middle-class income. Granted, this research comes from studying college/university populations in the USA that probably didn’t have much exposure to manual labor as part of their daily lives. Do a similar study on South American young adults working in agriculture and I’ll bet their grip strength matches up with their dads’.

Even wilder, new research shows a correlation between grip strength and suicidal ideation. Grip strength is a decent indicator of overall physical strength. Those with a stronger grip are more likely to be healthier and more resilient to the symptoms of depression as a result. Even more compelling: those with depression generally have greater inflammation in their bodies, which leads to lower grip strength measurements.

Can we say that increases in suicide and suicide attempts in males is a result of less men in manual labor jobs today compared to days of yore? No. First, we weren’t keeping track of that data then so we cannot make pure comparisons. Second, men usually end their life by suicide more than women. Third, white middle-age men have the highest risk of suicide compared to any other population.

Today’s white middle-age men likely grew up doing manual labor, held trade jobs, and are retired or on their way to retirement. If the claims that “men are growing weaker” and weaker grip strength indicates greater suicidal ideation, then we’d naturally expect young men to have the highest suicide rate. This is not the case. All the “men are growing weaker” argument does is shame young boys and new adults into shutting up when they most need help.

Physical strength is only one component of being a man. In my estimation it’s also the easiest to obtain, the easiest to abuse, and the easiest way to hide traits that could use more development.

I’m strong enough for my job climbing utility poles, and I’m strong enough to realize when I’m weak and ask for help. That may make me weaker than my ancestors, but it makes me far, far more resilient than they could have ever imagined.