This post exclusively features Baby Yoda

Most treatment facility coordinators, psychiatrists, and therapists say something like: “We don’t recommend drinking any caffeinated beverage during treatment.” My reaction:

Look, I’m already in treatment for depression and anxiety. Take coffee away from me and I’ll soon be imprisoned for assault. This is why the adults in Skyland Trail’s residential program visit Starbucks every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. There’s what is treatment appropriate, and then there’s the reality of depriving working adults of their go-go nectar.

I felt bad for the residential population under eighteen, as they got no coffee at all. Well, there was a decaffeinated brew, but for a generation raised on sugary frappés and energy shots, I imagine they swallowed their decaf coffee with an equal amount of resentment. Putting the humor aside, there are plenty of good reasons to limit caffeine while in treatment and while living with anxiety.

The primary reason is that a caffeinated body is about the same as an anxious body.

Caffeine is a stimulant. When the chemical hits your synapses, you are almost immediately more alert. It also increases your heart rate and blood pressure. In larger amounts, caffeine can also make your muscles twitch.

Alertness? Higher heart rate? Twitchy muscles? The exact same responses occur in the body of someone experiencing high levels of anxiety. Since anxiety is comorbid (a really rough term to describe “simultaneously”) with many other mental illnesses, it safer for any treatment facility to limit caffeine consumption among clients.

What I find most fascinating is the research indicating that a healthy coffee habit can decrease suicide risk:

As compared with non-coffee drinkers, the [suicide rate] was 45% lower among individuals who consumed 2–3 cups of coffee per day, and 53% lower among individual consuming 4 [or more] cups of coffee per day.

I rebelled against the treatment center’s recommendation because I use caffeine strategically. I brew dark roasts at home because I like the bitterness. No cream either. As my sister jokes - “I drink my coffee black, like my soul.”

My morning routine typically involves the following:

• Water

• A mug of dark roast at home while I read or write

• Water

• Another mug

• More water

I never drink just coffee. That is a recipe for an over-caffeinated and dehydrated body, and can prime my mind for a panic attack. Instead, I pace my coffee consumption with water. I also never add sugar to my coffee, only a little cream if I’m feeling adventurous. I’m already getting a spike in alertness from the caffeine. I don’t need sugar messing with my system unnecessarily.

One caveat — I do not drink any coffee if I wake up anxious. I’m not about excite my body and mind more than they already are. When I wake up afraid I’ll do some physical exercise to burn off the excess energy, and I’ll usually make tea as a substitute.

Coffee is one of my tools.

I use it to combat my usual feelings of drudgery in the morning. Plus, I’ve studied my anxious reactions enough to be able to distinguish between a body that is caffeinated, and a body that is truly worried about something. If you’re someone who battles severe anxiety and you drink coffee, I invite you to notice if your feelings of anxiety increase after you finish your cup. No matter what, if you are on any medications: talk to your psychiatrist if you consume any amount of caffeinated (or alcoholic) beverages because there could be possible reactions with your prescriptions.