The Gardener

For the past few weeks, I’ve been challenged to be okay with a slower pace of life. This is deeply unsettling for me. I was raised to go, go, go. When tired, keep moving. Adjust, adapt, and make stuff happen. Then, inevitably, I would crash. Finding myself on the couch, in bed, or, in the most extreme cases, in the hospital.

This morning was a challenge to take things slow and to not think as much. I woke up to my sun lamp, put some classical music on and trudged into the kitchen where I prepared my coffee. Mentally, I was confused. Uncertain if I wanted to get on with my day or if it would be better to stay under the covers. Then I remembered that I didn’t have to face the entire day at 7AM. I drank my coffee, read some of a fascinating book called The Upward Spiral, then put on a Brené Brown Ted Talk while I rowed for a few minutes. I realized, as Mary Oliver does in her poem “The Gardener”, that I was thinking too much and that it was okay to not think for a little while.

So if you’re struggling this morning with all the things you have to do or might be asked to do on this day, I invite you to read these words from my favorite poet:

Have I lived enough?
Have I loved enough?
Have I considered Right Action enough,
have I come to any conclusion?
Have I experienced happiness with
sufficient gratitude?
Have I endured loneliness with grace?

I say this, or perhaps I’m just thinking it.

Actually, I probably think too much.

Then I step out into the garden,
where the gardener, who is said to be a
simple man,
is tending his children, the roses.

- Mary Oliver

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