Cultivate a Healthy Indifference

School taught me the wrong lessons, which is a large part of why I practice and teach Mental Agility. Young people today report much higher levels of stress. According to the American Psychological Association:

October, 2020

“Gen Z adults (ages 18-23) are at a pivotal moment in their lives, and are experiencing adulthood at a time when the future looks uncertain.

This may be driving key differences in reported stress as Gen Z adults report the highest stress level during the prior month, on average, at 6.1 out of 10.

This is significantly higher than all other generations: 5.6 for millennials (ages 24-41), 5.2 for Gen X (ages 42-55), 4.0 for boomers (56-74) and 3.3 for older adults (75+).”

Add onto the immense stresses of navigating the social scenes in middle and high school while simultaneously attempting to maintain a respectable GPA, and those Gen Z’ers under eighteen probably feel like as if they are hanging on to their sanity with white knuckles and bloody fingertips. This is troubling because while some adults, like myself, do not remember their school years fondly, nearly every adult can agree that school was orders of magnitude easier than navigating adult life.

For example: I would take calculus and AP Political Science for a whole year if that meant not having to do my taxes or figuring out what my health insurance doesn’t cover.

My parents, my teachers, and my coaches never taught me how to live with stress and worry. Variations of: “that’s just life” were tossed around as the proverbial non-answer to a child asking why things were the way they were. One of my newest mentors, Waylon Hasty, owner of the Elite Lineman Training Institute, has a message to everyone complaining about the next generation. He says that if we’d only take the time to explain why things need to be done and why life is the way it is that the next generation will run through walls to get the job finished or make the life they want.

This is why I believe a basic philosophy course should be mandatory in high school. I wasn’t exposed to the concepts of stoicism, confucianism, or hedonism. The precepts of different religions and world views were muddled by the views of my parents and the location where I was raised. Life was meant to be lived, but curiously, the study of living was somewhat taboo. Because of this, it took me thirty years to understand the following maxim:

Life involves pain. Suffering is optional.

Marcus Aurelius

What do you worry about and why? Why be bothered by anything or anyone when, to quote Marcus Aurelius:

Soon you will have forgotten all things, and soon, all things will have forgotten you.

Plot your current problems, worries, and woes out on a long-enough timeline, and they will eventually cease to exist.

Looking back on my formative years, I lacked any measure of instruction on how not to be bothered. Instead, I was taught about all the things I needed to worry about.

• How good were my grades?

• Should I pick another elective?

• Does that girl like me?

• Do I need more extra-curricular activities?

• What major should I pursue?

• Who do I need to associate with to get where I want?

• What career will I pursue?

• Is everything going to be okay?

These questions were constantly shoved into my face by the adults in my life, and I didn’t have the added stress of maintaining accounts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, or Tik Tok.

1,800 years ago, Marcus Aurelius sagely noted that every person will die, and every record of every person’s personal or public achievements will turn to dust. So what, really, is there to worry about? Why be bothered by any person’s opinion of who you are or what you do? Their opinion will only last as long as their heart beats.

The word “bother” derives from the Irish bodhairim, meaning, “I deafen”. Not ignored. Not unacknowledged. Not disagreed with. To say you are not bothered by what someone says, you mean you literally cannot hear their words. Your indifference is a matter of fact because the words never enter your consciousness.

To anyone reading this, and especially to the younger Gen Z’ers:

• You will get upset with people.

• You will get upset with how things are versus how you think things should be.

• You will get upset with yourself for all manner of perceived inadequacies.

These are perfectly normal reactions — you can choose to respond to your initial reactions with a deaf ear.

Does this mean to ignore your obligations? No. Do what you need to do, as that is your duty in this life, but you need not be bothered while walking your path, even if you’re not entirely sure where you’re going.