I'm Writing a Book
/TRIGGER WARNING — This article, or pages it links to, contains graphic images and information about suicide which may be upsetting to some people.
1-800-273-8255 - National Suicide Prevention Hotline
Global Crisis Centers - International Association for Suicide Prevention
I will publish “The Suicide Survival Guide” in September of 2022. As I write the manuscript, I’ll be selecting pieces to publish on this blog. Partly for marketing efforts, but more to gather input from my current readers so I can make this book as useful as possible. The goal of writing “The Suicide Survival Guide” is threefold:
To approach suicidal thinking without fear and with a degree of humor as to make a scary subject substantially less so.
To put an intimate, human foreground atop the backdrop of suicide statistics and data.
To share practical applications for survival and an improved quality of life.
The following words come after the Introduction and prior to the first chapter. It is a Note on Language that I feel is necessary when writing about such a taboo subject. If you have questions about the content of this book or questions about suicide that I may be able to answer in my book, please send me a message at: gcorsetti@mentallyagile.com.
“We’ve sanitized language to the point that it doesn’t mean anything anymore.” - George Carlin
I pull no punches. Suicide is a killer. Depression, a master strategist. To sanitize the language in this book would be to reduce its potency to a level far below an effective dose to combat suicidal thinking for those in crisis.
Do not think that I am unaware of how painful it is to read the word “suicide”. Having attempted to die by my own hand, the word “suicide” still sears across my consciousness with the intensity of hot iron pressed upon unwilling flesh. If I’ve written properly, what you read will disturb you. Much in the same way that reading a serial killer’s biography disturbs, which if statistics are to be believed, is exactly what depression is. Only depression, much like Hercule Poirot’s adversary in Agatha Christine’s final mystery novel, kills by proxy. It influences the mind to be violent against itself, and sadly, it is the person who is blamed, and not the malevolent illness.
The right ingredients make the meal all the more desirous and enjoyable, but, as they say, the devil is in the details. I could write such a blistering narrative that would only result in burned taste buds. No one would enjoy that meal. Instead, I must channel a chef who’s mission is to craft deliciousness from ingredients that few people find palatable. The sum of this literary feast must be greater than the individual herbs and spices. Otherwise, no one will want to finish and discussing suicide will continue to be taboo.
Having established this, I am censoring my language to meet recommended national guidelines set forth by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). From this point forward I shall not use the phrase: “killed herself/himself/themselves/or myself,” nor will I state that anyone has, “committed suicide.” Instead, I will use variations of the phrase: “died by suicide,” or, “suicide killed…”. Why is this important, and haven’t I just contradicted my earlier statement about not sanitizing this book?
Care with language is important because of the humanity-wide stigma surrounding suicide. It is a word so encumbered with misconceptions, so laden with myth, that it is almost impossible to discuss suicide without feeling tense. I must quench the heat of my words so my readers are not burned. Singed, I can live with, and, with the intensity of this subject, something I quite expect.
On the hypocrisy of stating that I dislike replacing poisonous phrases with their less-lethal derivatives; I refer you to the word: “Dialectical”. Meaning to act through opposing forces. Every person reading this book has experienced the unpleasant sensation of doing something they do not wish to do in the pursuit of what they desire. I do not want to take medication, and I know I need to take it. Both statements are true. Both statements oppose one another. I’m only a hypocrite if I don’t swallow my meds. More than myself, though, I must write cognizant of the feelings of others. I do not know what it is like to lose a child to suicide, for example. So I choose not to add to an already near-unendurable weight that is on the shoulders of the decedent’s parents.
Reading this book will not be easy, the subject matter sees to that, but I will not be cruel to myself or others. In this way, I will teach what suicide is and what it is not.
Last note: I do not glamorize suicide.
If you are reading this book with thoughts of suicide and you think that my story will make the act of self-destruction more appealing to you; you are under a grave misapprehension. Death by any means is awful. Death by suicide is no greater or lesser than death by an accident or twist of fate. What of the soldier who jumps on a grenade to save her platoon? Honorable, certainly, and she is dead. Her death will cause oceans of pain for her loved ones and friends.
What of the father who sacrifices his life for that of his child? A brave sacrifice, and he is dead. His family and friends will mourn him just the same as if he died peacefully in his sleep.
What of the girl who draws a bath, cuts her wrists, and watches all of her specialness drain away because she believes her death could be beautiful? She too, is dead. Her body will grow cold in a morgue. A specialty cleaning crew will bleach the stained-red bathtub. Her family will grieve, just as they will grieve if she perished in a fatal car accident. Only, because of her death by suicide, they will ask: “Why?”
Why were we not good enough?
Why… were we bad parents?
Why did she not ask for help?
Why? Why?? WHY???
Suicide is death with the intention to die, but it is not like other deaths because it leaves a seed of doubt in the minds of survivors that will only disappear when they too, cease to be. Death for any other reason can be understood, even if not accepted completely. Death in every case but suicide is final. It is only death by suicide that precipitates endless questioning in the minds of aching loved ones.
To the person who lost someone you loved — You may, through my story, come to understand what they might have thought leading up to their death. Unfortunately, I can only approximate their thoughts, and I am truly sorry that I cannot take away your pain. I hope these words from my heart will do something to make your pain more endurable.
To the person concerned about a loved one potentially harming themselves — You’ll learn the warning signs, and the most common tics of a person gripped by suicidal thought. You’ll get resources upon resources to aid you in assisting the person you’re concerned about, and you’ll also get information to help yourself navigate the challenges of being a life preserver for another.
To the person reading this because you’re thinking about ending your life — You think I don’t know your pain. You’re right. I don’t. I know your pain as but a pale reflection of the pain from my own ill mind. I don’t know the depths to which your soul feels entombed. I only know that I have swum in deep, dark waters, and that since I am still swimming, you can too.
