From Milliamps to 14,400 Volts

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It’s strange how life comes full circle. A while back, a friend confided that when he learned I aimed to become a journeyman lineman he was concerned that I may be seeking death. Far from it, however he knew about the dangers of high voltage work and I don’t have the greatest track record in making healthy decisions. Seeing things from his perspective enticed me to look at just how I got here. Simply stated — ECT gave me back my mind.

I spent the last few days reposting the articles I wrote in 2019 while actively going through an ECT treatment protocol. It was wild to look back on my experiences at Emory Wesley Woods and the professionals who applied the treatment. I enjoyed re-living coming out of the darkness of depression while also learning more about how the treatment works. Then I laughed.

For the past month I’ve assisted in replacing three-phase pad-mount transformers at various industrial locations. This work was necessary ahead of a planned conversion to change circuits from 7,200 volts to 14,400 volts to carry the electrical load due to the growing demands of the area. I’ve held a “hot” primary elbow with a shotgun stick (utility industry term for big, insulated rod). That is on underground work, but on overhead work I got even closer to this invisible power by holding energized primary wire of 14,400 volts with my gloved hands. I cannot help but be amused that a year-and-a-half ago a few hundred milliamps were directed through my brain and now I’m physically handling that same force to energize businesses and homes.

Electricity flows in a circuit. Have a short or flip a breaker and electrons no longer go where they are intended. It’s a well understood and well documented physical phenomena. Because E=IR I can safely say that between 70 and 200 volts were applied to my brain so a current of approximately 400milliamps would induce a seizure lasting approximately 10-12 seconds.

  • E = voltage

  • I = amps (current)

  • R = ohms

The skull is heavily resistant, but it doesn’t take much current to make the brain seize. Instead of just turning up the dial which seemed to be the way it was done decades ago, now doctors use unilateral or bilateral ECT with an estimated minimum effective dose based on sex, age, height, weight, and prescribed medications. We want the biggest effect with the least amount of amps. Now, while we know how to apply enough amps through brain tissue to make a patient seize, we are still in a deep dark forest trying to find a sun-lit glade of understanding as to how this treatment really brings people out of their own internal darkness.

I liken my experience to de-fragging a computer. It’s a reset for a mind cluttered with too many broken file extensions. We can describe, with mathematical precision, how power is generated, stepped-up, transmitted, stepped down, distributed, and delivered to the outlet currently powering your coffee maker. We have not yet figured out why ECT works. Brains, as it turns out, are far more complicated than electrical circuits. Our lack of understanding doesn’t concern me. There are plenty of things that work and we’re still not quite sure how.

What I deeply enjoy now is an invigorating career that forces me to look out for my wellbeing, and it all started with some teeny-tiny amps. I hope two things happen in the future. One, that some researchers discover the exact mechanism that explains why ECT is so effective for treatment resistant depression. Two, that I get the opportunity to install or maintain power lines to a hospital that provides ECT. That would really close the circuit on my electrical experiences if I could contribute to the power being delivered to a patient with a mind as broken as mine was.