A Time of Reflection

It’s remarkable how losing someone you love, especially a child, changes the very rhythm of everyday life. Simple moments can feel like mountains to climb. Grief takes you on an emotional journey that none of us are ever truly prepared for, and yet it’s something we all experience in some way during our lives.

Writing has become a comfort for me, it’s healing, and it helps me keep Gordon’s beautiful spirit and legacy alive. Mary Jo and I feel deeply blessed by the love and support of our family and friends, who have lifted us up during our hardest days, just as we’ve tried to be there for them in their times of need. Sometimes it’s a simple text or a kind message, other times a call, a meal, or just being together. Each gesture means more than words can express.

Death, as difficult as it is, is part of life, though it’s something we only truly begin to understand when it touches us personally. One of my college football teammates recently sent me a YouTube video from a pastor that spoke about the Tragedy, Mystery, and Victory of Grief. I found it profoundly moving, and I wanted to share it here with everyone who follows Gordon’s posts:

The Tragedy, Mystery, and Victory of Grief

Some of my hardest moments come from thinking about how deeply Mary Jo and Caitlin hurt knowing their pain might even be greater than my own. I can still see Mary Jo on the floor with Gordon, his head nestled in the crook of her arm as they laughed together. I can picture her teaching him to hold a hammer and knock down a wall. I hear Caitlin’s laughter echoing through the house as Gordon chased her, the two of them plotting how to surprise me. These memories visit me daily. Sometimes they bring wide smiles, and other times they bring tears I can’t hold back.

Every day, I do my best to keep moving forward. It’s not always easy, but I find strength through my faith in God and the power of prayer. I know that everyone’s connection to faith is different, and that’s perfectly okay. For me, though, it’s been my anchor. I don’t think I could make it through without it.

Call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for help. In an emergency, please call 911.
If you or someone you know is seeking help for mental health concerns, visit the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) website, or call 1-800-950-NAMI(6264).
For confidential treatment referrals, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website, or call the National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357).