A letter from Gordon.
/A Letter From Gordon — and a Promise We Continue to Keep
This past Sunday, I was cleaning out some old files. It was a letter Gordon had written to me about eight years ago. It is a letter that I keep on my Printer in a safe spot and read it from time to time and to stay connected with my son.
I won't share the entire letter. It is far too personal to me, and I have always been very guarded when it comes to my children and the things they have shared with me privately.
But there is one part I would like to share.
Gordon wrote:
“If there is one thing I have learned from you over the years it is how to live my life as a good man. I've seen too many examples from other men about how to not live honorably. You have always been on the level to everyone you've worked with and talked to.
There are few things that make a son prouder than having someone come up to me saying how lucky I must be to have you as my dad.
I am not lucky Dad, I am blessed to know you as my Father, my Dad, and my Rock.”
Love,
Your Son
Those words stopped me in my tracks.
As a father, there aren't many things your child could say to you that mean more than that.
But as I reread Gordon's words, I found myself thinking about something else.
Gordon became that kind of man himself.
The Man Gordon Became
During Gordon's 34 years on this earth, he meant so much to so many people.
He was a son.
A brother.
A friend.
A teammate.
A lacrosse official.
A mentor.
A colleague.
And, perhaps without ever fully realizing it, a mental health advocate.
Gordon understood people.
He knew how to connect with them. He cared about the people around him. He could make people laugh, encourage them and make them feel as though they belonged.
Like so many people who struggle with their mental health, Gordon could also be incredibly good at helping others while carrying struggles of his own.
Our family continues to live with the heartbreak of losing him.
Grief doesn't follow a schedule. There is no finish line where suddenly everything is okay again.
We simply learn to carry Gordon with us.
And each day, we try to find another way to honor his life rather than allowing his death to define it.
That commitment eventually became the Gordon Corsetti Mental Agility Foundation and the message we continue to share:
It's OK not to be OK.
And:
Take Care of Your Crew.
Those aren't slogans to our family.
They are a promise.
Turning Grief Into Purpose
One of the things I have learned since Gordon passed is that no single organization can solve the mental health and suicide crisis alone.
There are wonderful people doing extraordinary work.
But too often organizations operate independently.
One group has tremendous educational resources.
Another understands suicide prevention.
Another works with children.
Another supports families.
Another specializes in behavioral health.
Another understands trauma.
Another has relationships with schools, corporations or universities.
What if we stopped thinking about what each organization could accomplish individually and started asking:
What could we accomplish together?
That question helped lead to the creation of the Aspire To Give Impact Alliance.
Its mission can be summarized in three simple ideas:
Uniting Strengths.
Instilling Hope.
Expanding Impact.
The Alliance brings together organizations with like-minded missions around mental health, mental agility, resilience, education and suicide prevention.
The goal isn't to replace the identity of any organization.
Quite the opposite.
We want every organization to remain independent while giving each one an opportunity to share its strengths with others.
We can combine our reach.
We can share resources and best practices.
We can develop innovative, evidence-informed education for people at different stages of life.
We can collaborate with schools, universities, corporations, healthcare organizations and foundations.
And most importantly, we can help more people.
Stronger Together
The Gordon Corsetti Mental Agility Foundation and Aspire to Give provide the founding infrastructure for the Alliance.
I am honored to serve as Co-Founder and Alliance Ambassador, working on community relationships, partnerships, fundraising, donor development and helping bring organizations together around this shared mission.
My good friend Greg Doepke, Co-Founder and Educational Architect, brings the educational vision and learning infrastructure that will help us deliver meaningful mental health and resilience education.
Our founding member organizations bring remarkable experience of their own:
The Fight Against Suicide — lead by David Edmiston empowering campuses and communities through education, awareness and prevention.
Whisper — A tremendous organization run by Bryan and Amber Davidson, connecting students, supporting conversations and building a culture of care and fighting the issue of loneliness in young peoples lives.
SAM Foundation — Julie Smith supporting survivors of suicide loss and those impacted by suicide with hope and healing.
Vescent — A company run by Cindy Abel who developed a Platform for supporting children, families and communities through trauma-informed programs.
And the Alliance is designed to collaborate with healthcare organizations such as Children’s Health Care, NCR Behavioral Health, and Prosper along with health professionals, universities, corporations, foundations and other organizations that share the mission.
The concept is actually very simple: Don't duplicate great work. Connect it.
Gordon's Legacy Continues
Finding Gordon's letter reminded me that legacy is an interesting thing.
We often think legacy is something we leave behind when our lives are over.
I'm beginning to believe something different.
Legacy is what continues to happen because we were here.
Every conversation Gordon had.
Every official he helped.
Every teammate he encouraged.
Every person he made laugh.
Every friend he checked on.
Every person who now talks openly about mental health because of his story.
Every person who hears the words “It's OK not to be OK” and realizes asking for help is a sign of strength.
Every coach who decides to check on the quiet kid at practice.
Every teammate who decides to call a friend instead of assuming he's fine.
Every parent who decides to listen a little longer.
That's Gordon's legacy.
And now, through the Aspire To Give Impact Alliance, perhaps that circle becomes even larger.
A Father's Perspective
I wish Gordon were here.
There isn't a day when I wouldn't trade every foundation meeting, every speaking engagement, every game and every accomplishment simply to have my son walk through the door again.
But that isn't the hand our family was dealt.
So we have a choice.
We can allow grief to consume us.
Or we can carry our grief with us while trying to help someone else.
That is what Mary Jo, Caitlin and I continue trying to do.
Some days we're better at it than others.
But we keep going.
And that old letter Gordon wrote to me now carries a different meaning.
He told me I had shown him how to live as a good man.
What Gordon may never have realized was how much he taught me.
He taught me about compassion.
He taught me to listen.
He taught me that the person who appears strongest may still be struggling.
He taught me that we need each other.
And ultimately, Gordon taught me why we must:
Take Care of Your Crew.
The Aspire To Give Impact Alliance is simply the next chapter of that promise.
Different organizations.
Different expertise.
Different experiences.
One shared purpose.
Together, we inspire hope.
We build resilience.
And we save lives.
For Gordon.
And for every Gordon who is still here.
Please consider donating to the Gordon J. Corsetti Mental Agility Foundation to help us keep Gordon’s legacy alive.
Call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for help. In an emergency, please call 911.
If you or someone you know is seeking help for mental health concerns, visit the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) website, or call 1-800-950-NAMI(6264).
For confidential treatment referrals, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website, or call the National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357).
