A Simple Man

When you have children you always want them to be better then you and have just as much success as you have. Many of the people I have been surrounded in my life have been extremly successful.

I spend over 34 years on Wall Street, retired an then went to work with USA Lacrosse to continue my passion of impacting young people. That was 7 and 1/2 years ago.

But what is success. As you reflect on your life as you get older your lense on things tend to change. I have become I believe a better husband, father and coach because of my Children.

If not for my Bride Mary Jo, my son Gordon and Daughter Caitlin lord only knows where I would be.

Physically Gordon is not here but I speak with him everyday on multiple occasions and when I pray at night and in the mornings.

Gordon taught me so many things over the years and our connection to lacrosse and work is unmesurable. As Gordon and Caitlin got older I Iearned more from them than they did from me. Although I certainly love when my daughter and her husband Nicholas ask me for advice when we talk.

Gordon and his writing always made me think a little differently. His insight and how he researched topics to write about always made me feel so proud. I have received so many emails, phone calls, texts and social posts that I can’t keep count of them. People telling me how Gordon helped them or how is writings helped someone that they love and cherish. I spoke with a good friend of mine who is in the the mental health space a few weeks ago and she said Gordons writings are so inspirational and she uses them to help others. It warms my heart that he is still doing these things to help others even though he is not here.

So this is the second season I begin without my son. Gordon was a respected official as you know from my previous posts and I believe I am a respected Coach. It is very challenging not to have our conversations face to face or on the phone regarding a upcoming game or what transpired in a game we were involved in. Gordon was my walking/talking rule book and he always gave me insight into the game. And while I can’t have conversations about our games in person I still talk to Gordon to see what he thinks about what is going on in a game. As I begin this season I will try and be more caring and transformational as that is one of things Gordon taught me.

Gordon always broke things down in Simple terms and that is the essence of this post. To look at things in simple terms.

My favorite band is Lynyrd Skynyrd my favorite song is “Simple Man” written by Ronnie Van Zant and Gary Rossington. The only music I really enjoy is Southern Rock, Motown and sixties music. I am sure my kids heard “Simple Man” hundreds of times on our trips as a family and I am glad one of them stuck with Gordon.

Gordon and I would talk about this song many times over our adult lifetime and he even wrote a blog post about it (check it out)

https://mentallyagile.com/blog/2018/12/28/be-a-simple-kind-of-man

Gordon helped me be a “Simple Man” and for that I am grateful.

Mama told me when I was young
"Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this it'll help you
Some sunny day"
Oh, yeah

Oh, take your time, don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
You'll find a woman, yeah, and you'll find love
And don't forget son there is someone up above

And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me son, if you can?

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul
And you can do this, oh, baby, if you try
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied

And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me son, if you can?
Oh, yes, I will

Boy, don't you worry, you'll find yourself
Follow your heart and nothing else
And you can do this, oh, baby, if you try
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied

And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me son, if you can?

Baby, be a simple, be a simple man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man

Please consider donating to Gordon’s Mental Agility Foundation so we can continue to help people with their mental health. https://everloved.com/life-of/gordon-corsetti

13 Candles

As I reflect on the one year Anniversary of our Son’s passing I keep coming back to the power of numbers. I have always been obsessed with numbers and number 7 (number I wore for College Football and Lacrosse) is my favorite number because it is derived from the Haudensosaunee Indians. The premise in native culture is “Decisions we make today should result in a sustainable world seven generations into the future”. The Seventh Generation Principle

Mary Jo and traveled to Ireland over Thanksgiving as we really did not want to celebrate the holiday and the holidays that are coming in the next few weeks. We traveled to Boston and then changed planes for Dublin at Logan Airport. The gate that we flew out of was 13 (Gordon’s favorite number and jersey number in High School and College when he played lacrosse). The Airport Gate color was Purple which is an integral part of Gordon’s website as it is the color of Royalty and he so enjoyed this color. Purple is also associated with Suicide Prevention.

While visiting St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Dublin I lit the 13th candle at the votive holder and placed one of Gordon’s “Take Care of Your Crew” brackets on a prayer tree at the church.

Over the last year sometimes on a daily basis I see the number 13 whether it is a flock of geese, Gordon’s license plate number (totaled) 13 or on another occasion 13 deer in my daily walk with our dogs.

Number 2 was my High School Football number but it is December 2nd that will stick in my mind now as this is the day/number that Gordon left us.

This has been a challenging year for Mary Jo, Caitlin, Nick, Lisa (Gordon’s Fiance’) and myself. Gordon comes in and out of my mind so many times on a daily basis and while a year has passed I am not sure if I will be ever OK but I would think Gordon would want us to press on and LIVE!

As I mentioned before we have lost so many players, coaches and officials over the years.

Tyler Cross, Owen Green, Andrew Bingham, Luke Abbate, Jamie McHenry, Holden Viers, Camp Schweers, Alec Jordan, Conor, Andrew Ozwald Rahiya, Ron Mallonee, Kevin Moore, Kurt Knisely, Paul Wendlant, Danny Arturo, PJ Garcia, Parker Jackson, Will Trautwein, Carter Davis, Tom Garrett, Alex Galloway, Skip Fulton to name a few that we have known.

There is no family, friend, teammate, co-worker or individual that is immune to the sudden loss of life or a long illness by a loved one. It effects us all deeply and I heard recently that “You don’t fall out of love and you don’t fall out of grief”.

I hope everyone does their best to spread joy and love during this Holiday season and beyond and when someone pops into your head give them a call or text it means a lot to make someones day. Please help us carry on Gordon’s Legacy of “Take Care of Your Crew”.

We thank everyone for their love and support over the year and we look forward to seeing you.

In the words of my good friend John Trautwein “I Love Ya Man” - Be a Life Teammate

The Life of Gordon Corsetti - A Fathers Eulogy to His Son

https://youtu.be/KK83peo7kjk

Gordon Corsetti Mental Agility Website - https://mentallyagile.com/ Terrific writings by our son and brother to help you on a daily basis with your mental health

Please consider donating to Gordon’s Mental Agility Foundation so we can continue to help people with their mental health - https://everloved.com/life-of/gordon-corsetti/

Across the Ocean

Exciting times for Gordon and his reach to so many. I recently received a Facebook message from Mr. Rufus Agyei Ntiamoah. Rufus is the President of the Ghana Lacrosse Association as well as the President of the Africa Association of Lacrosse. Rufus contacted me as he was wanting to put on a lacrosse tournament for African countries in honor of Gordon’s memory. Rufus has known Gordon for many years as he virtually helped train many of the officials under Rufus and his association. Lacrosse in Africa is really gaining steam and there are now officially 15 African countries playing our wonderful game. On the heels of this exciting news World Lacrosse announced two weeks ago the Lacrosse will become an official Olympic Sport for the 2028 Los Angeles Olympics.

Gordon would be so proud of this news as he had his hand in growing the game to so many officials around the globe with his videos on how to be an official.

I will be sending Rufus “Take Care of Your Crew” bracelets to help spread the word on Mental Health.

Gordon you are missed terribly down here but please know your memory and legacy lives on.

https://www.ghanalacrosse.org

https://mentallyagile.com/

If you would like to donate to the Gordon James Corsetti Mental Agility Foundation please go to the link below

https://mentallyagile.com/checkout/donate?donatePageId=64e0f56d4ec8da650d75bb5f

9/11

So I have at the blessing of Coaching many young people over the last forty years and when I speak about Leadership I always mention 9/11/2011 to our parents and players about this fateful day. Our family was dramatically impacted by this tragedy having lost one of my roommates Tom Crotty, Mary Jo’s cousin. Lt. Kevin Donnelly from the New York Fire Department and 25 business associates that I build relationships with over my career.

I always tell them that my best day was when I married my Bride MJ and the birth of our children Gordon Corsetti and Caitlin Corsetti, and my worst day is 9/11/2011.

Well another day is now 12/2/2022 when we lost our son Gordon.

I do not want to diminish what the families feel that lost love ones on this day 22 years ago while mentioning my son in the same breath that I mention others who feel the same emptiness.

As a leader and coach I have the opportunity to speak in front of many groups. This past weekend I spoke to almost 40 coaches and program leaders from the great state of Tennessee. It was a wonderful day of sharing ideas, successes and challenges to help grow our game of Lacrosse.

I then spoke about my son Gordon so they understand the importance of taking to others about mental health. Gordon's motto of "Taking Care of Your Crew" has so much impact and any chance I get with my last breath I will talk about how you can help someone by just asking "How can I help"

Our Native brothers and sisters call Lacrosse the Medicine game because it has healing powers and that could not be more truthful as it is today.

Today will always be a sad day for me since several people I love and admire like Jimmy O'Neill (we lost Jimmy a few years ago)my old boss and great friend (the picture below is Jimmy's Facebook Photo as well as a few posts that I made over the years). Jimmy and I stood shoulder to shoulder during this day trying to help lead our co-workers and friends throughout this day and many years after. We lost a lot of friends in the business world that we knew for decades.

Jimmy's brother Matt O'Neill has helped me with the our loss of Gordon just like his big brother helped me and many others with his leadership and compassion on this day. (Matt I love you).

I would also like to thank Gordon's Godfather, Roger Coleman who shows throughout the year his leadership with Tuesdays Children. https://www.tuesdayschildren.org

Our country and the rest of the world needs us to show leadership, empathy and love to others.

So when you say your prayers today think of all of the people that we lost on 9/11/2001, think of their families and anyone you have lost since that time.

"Take Care of Your Crew"

Oh, How He Lived

Well, football season is almost upon us. For those of you that know me, especially my bride Mary Jo, each year during August I start to get edgy because football gets in your blood—the smell of grass and hitting someone is a right of passage for many in our country. Mary Jo is always quick to remind me when I get frustrated with something that I really need to go hit something.

Those who know me from high school or college from teammates and friends to coworkers and family know that I am pretty straight-forward. I call it like I see it and am sometimes accused of not having feelings or patience.

I pride myself on hard work and dedication to the task at hand, and I applied that to the field as well. When playing both lacrosse and football in college, I was an emotional leader in football and the offensive leader on our lacrosse team. Football was different for me, as it is a very emotional game, and I took my role as captain of our team seriously. I never let anyone quit. I had the privilege of playing for a very successful high school program in West Babylon, New York, and later at Marist College in Poughkeepsie. While at Marist, we never really got over the hump (wins and losses) but I did garner great relationships with my teammates—many of whom are still good friends today.

Lacrosse on the other hand was a different story. We were very successful and won the first Championship in any sport at the time from our small Jesuit college. On the lacrosse field, I was a quiet leader, but also not a great teammate because I hated losing more than I liked winning. I am sure several of my teammates did not care for me, but I only pushed them because I wanted them to be better. Sometimes my methods were not the best, but I truly loved each and every one of them.

I am writing this post today because I watched one of my favorite movies Brian’s Song the other day—and bawled my eyes out again. Outside of losing loved ones (more recently our son Gordon) and several of our dogs over the years (Lance, Indy, Middie, Nugget, Thor, and Zeus), I very rarely cry. Maybe it’s a guy thing, or maybe it’s because Mary Jo and Caitlin call me the robot. Now mind you, I do get choked about things but for some reason, I don’t cry a lot.

Losing our son has changed this for me as I cry a lot now. It could be a song, a sunrise, a commercial, or a movie that we loved as a family. There is no telling when this will occur. I travel a good deal with my job and have a lot of drive time, and this is when I cry the most because I am alone with myself. It gives me time to reflect on my son and how I can be a better person to my family, friends, players, parents, officials, and more importantly GOD!

Brian’s Song is one of my all-time favorite movies and in the last scene, Jack Warner who plays Georgie Halas (the famous Chicago Bears Coach) does a voice-over to end the movie. So I want you all to think about these words.

“Brian Piccolo died of cancer at the age of 26. He left a wife and three daughters. He also left many loving friends who think of him often. But when they think of Brian they don’t think of how he died. They remember rather how he lived. Oh, how he lived.”

“Gordon died by suicide at the age of 34. He left a fiancée, sister, brother-in-law, mother, and father. He also left many friends and family who think of him often. But when they think of Gordon they don’t think of how he died. They remember rather how he lived. Oh, how he lived.”

"A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

This morning I was going through some old emails while reflecting on another month without my son.

Gordon’s old manager Erin Smith sent this email to all of us at USA Lacrosse on March 5th, 2019 two days after his birthday. Erin did a very nice job capturing Gordon’s tenure at USA Lacrosse.

She also added some comments from folks around the country and his Manager Charlie Obermayer who thanked Gordon for a job well done. I have also included Gordon’s message to his colleagues.

Dear Staff-

In this case, others' words are better than mine, so please read on to see Charlie's fond farewell (while on leave, thus my being the messenger) and Gordon's personal words to all of you. 

Erin

USL Team,

I am not even sure where to start off with this email but here it goes. Gordon, will be leaving our USL family to move back to his native Georgia where he is beginning a new career with CarMax as a Senior Instructional Designer at the end of this month. This is a fantastic opportunity for Gordon and we wish him the best of luck in his newest endeavor. His last day with us will be Friday, March 22nd.

Gordon’s impact on US Lacrosse, the officiating community and lacrosse community simply cannot be summed up in one email and numbers can’t even do it any justice, so here are a couple USL members and volunteers that Gordon worked with throughout his time here.

“A very thoughtful and thorough individual.” Matt Radebaugh

“Willing to do whatever it tales to get the job done.” Scott Miller

“In his time in this role, Gordon has advanced our officials training resources and materials leaps and bounds beyond where we thought we could take it.” Sean Murphy

“Gordon’s passion, work ethic and creativity has positively impacted the recruiting, training and promotion of lacrosse officiating more so than anybody I have had the pleasure working with through US Lacrosse.” Jim Carboneau

And my personal favorite from multiple people:

“You are screwed without Gordon.”

Join me in congratulating Gordon on an incredible opportunity for him and thanking him for the lasting contribution he has made to improve our organization and all of us as individuals.

Charlie__________________________________________________________________

Colleagues,

It is with a deep sense of gratitude and a twinge of regret that I announce my resignation from US Lacrosse. There is some regret, because I will miss the opportunity to positively impact the game, but there is much more gratitude, because of how much you all have impacted my life for the better.

When I came to US Lacrosse in 2014 I was a quiet, officiating nerd. Though I am still an officiating nerd, I am not quite as quiet. You all made me feel at home away from my family, and helped me grow as a person. I feel much more comfortable in social settings that used to cause me a great deal of anxiety, and my life has been enriched by knowing and working with all of you. 

I am returning to Georgia to be closer to my family, and starting a new position as the Senior Instructional Designer at CarMax Auto Finance on April 1st. I will continue to write about mental wellness and effective stress reduction techniques at https://mentallyagile.com/, and you are welcome to reach me atgcorsetti@mentallyagile.com. I am also looking to build a public speaking career. If you think an organization, team, or school in which you are involved would like to learn how to manage daily stressors better, please share my contact page at: https://mentallyagile.com/contact.

Final yoga lesson: We all do tremendous work, and sometimes we wonder if what we do matters or if we measure up to some external ideal, remember, "A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.” 

Regards,

Gordon

We still morn his loss and will continue until we leave this earth. Gordon is part of our fabric of our lives everyday. This weekend I took two of my dogs for a walk around the lake by our house and and I saw a flock of Geese flying overhead. I counted them and there were 13 Geese (Gordon’s favorite number). When you lose someone that you love so much you have to take notice of things like that because it helps keep his spirit alive.

Love ya Coach Lou, Mary Jo, Caitlin and Nick

Thanks to everyone for their kindness and support since Gordon left us. More great things to follow as we build his foundation to help people with their Mental Health.

For those of you that wish to donate to Gordon’s Mental Agility Foundation please see the link below:

https://everloved.com/life-of/gordon-corsetti/

Always Smiling

If you had the honor of being around our son Gordon James Corsetti, you will always remember his infectious smile. Maybe it’s because he had braces when he was younger or maybe he just had great genes. Gordon’s teeth were white as a star and when he smiled, he lit up the room

As we hit the 5-month mark since his passing, we are still lifted up by so many people—friends, family, and even strangers.

We received this wood painting from Gordon’s friend and mentor Kevin Forrester. Kevin and many others have been solid as a rock during our grief. When I opened this package and saw how Kevin captured Gordon’s essence it made me cry yet again. We will find a suitable place in our home to hang this wonderful piece of art that Kevin was kind enough to paint. He said it took him a few months to finish because there were days when he could not put paint to wood and teared up a great deal.

Gordon’s sister Caitlin and her husband Nick are doing the best they can. Gordon’s fiancée’ Lisa is navigating this journey the best that she can. Mary Jo is knee-deep in projects around the house, and I believe she is staying busy so she can reflect on losing a part of herself. I’m doing the best I can and take comfort in sharing stories about Gordon on and off the field.

We are still planning many events to highlight Gordon’s time in life and to help combat this disease. Stay tuned for more information and how you can help or how we can help you or someone in your family.

For resources, visit https://mentallyagile.com.

Please consider contributing to the Gordon Corsetti Mental Agility foundation:

https://everloved.com/life-of/gordon-corsetti/donate/

If you or someone you know feels hopeless or like they have no reason to live, call, text, or chat 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

If you or someone you know is seeking help for mental health concerns, visit the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) website, or call 1-800-950-NAMI(6264).

For confidential treatment referrals, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website, or call the National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357).

4 Months of Pain

Well it has been a little over four months since you left us. The days blend in and sometimes there is fog and sometimes clarity. Caitlin, Lisa, Mom and me are trying our best to navigate this grief journey. We miss you terribly but we will continue to fight just like you did to help others. I had the opportunity to drop of a scholarship check for Elite Lineman Training (Class 15). Waylon, Randy and the Elite Team were excited to see me at the Lineman Rodeo and the young man who received the honor was thrilled. We also had a Lacrosse game on March 11th at my school, Fellowship Christian. Several parents helped with the event and we received several donations to your memorial fund to help people with this disease. We also attended the Summit Gala that we helped raise over $800,000 for Mental Awareness and Counseling. Your little sister did a great job speaking on your behalf along with the Trautweins and the Summit Counseling Team.

Gordon you were highlighted in a story from your good friend Jeremy Redmond in the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

https://www.ajc.com/news/gordon-corsetti-urged-others-to-take-care-of-your-crew/PCMZNJUYBRGEXM7SXFVF5UAPLA/

Team. Well off to finish the Thank You notes to all the folks that donated to your foundation.

https://everloved.com/life-of/gordon-corsetti/

We miss you so much - Love Dad