Sleeping Where I Almost Died

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I feel deeply content sleeping just a few feet from where I tried to hang myself. Nearly eight years ago, I put a belt loop around my neck, and fastened it to a stud in the ceiling. I stood on a stool, and rocked back and forth. Feeling the metal buckle bite into the back of my neck. Feeling the belt tighten as I leaned forward, and slacken as I leaned back.

I hated myself then for not being able to step off that stool. I am grateful now that I am so far past that terrible moment that I can sleep just about under where I planned to die, and that I can write a blog like this and a video like the one here.