Distract Skill Used Last Night

How can distraction possibly be a learned skill? Isn’t that something everybody does when they feel an emotion they no longer wish to feel? No — learning how to distract yourself effectively is a skill that can be developed for improved mental wellbeing.

The past two weeks have been especially good for me. No significant dips in my mood; according to my tracker I averaged a happy and cheerful attitude for well over fourteen days! That all changed last night.

I went to two yoga classes with a good friend. The first was a flow class where we moved through different standing postures while focusing on intentional deep breathing. In these types of classes, my world narrows to the present moment. I’m not thinking about tomorrow or yesterday; I’m thinking about my current posture, the balance of weight between my feet, and whether or not I’m breathing from my low belly.

With my attention tapered to only what I was doing, I gained relief from my concerns I had about my upcoming week. This was me using the distraction skill while low on my Subjective Units of Distress Scale (or SUDS), which I’ll explain shortly.

Then came the restorative class. Not only was it the first time I had pulled a double class in a few years; I also had not taken a restorative class in months. Restorative, or yin, classes are the complete opposite of moving, or yong, classes. The moving classes get you warm and sweating; the restorative classes, well, they are meant to compliment the faster moving classes by replacing action with stillness. Exertion with relaxation. Balance with support.

Yin classes have always been my favorite kind of classes because they are deeply meditative. You move slowly from posture to posture, and you stay in a given posture for five, seven, or even ten minutes. As I say in my workshops: “when the body is still the mind will usually go to the negative,” and that is exactly what happened during this class. I was inundated with a deluge of negative thoughts and emotions. In yoga-speak this is referred to as: “letting go of that which does not serve you.” I call it annoying.

After class, I experienced intense emotions of sadness, and anger at myself because I could not move past those feelings. To protest my emotions, I drove home without any music, stewing in my unpleasantness. Arriving home, I dropped my bags, put on comfy clothes, took my medications, and got into bed. I was at about a fifty on my SUD scale, which represents the intensity of distress that I am experiencing. That is a moderate amount of distress, nothing that I cannot overcome, but after two weeks of pleasant emotions it was a gut-punch to feel even a modicum of sadness.

In treatment, the other clients and I write out specific examples of how we think and feel at each level of the scale. That takes it from the more abstract: “moderate-to-strong distress,” to the more definitive: “I find myself unwilling to get out of bed, even though I can.” When a SUD scale is concrete to your personal experience, you can more easily recognize how distressed you are so you can take corrective action. After a few minutes, the thought to use the distract skill came into my awareness, and I decided to fire up the comedy of Bo Burnham.

Bo is an incredible performer. I find his comedy particularly funny because he jokes about his mental illnesses and how other people perceive him. He is dark, irreverent, and goofy, and after watching a few bits from his comedy specials my mood lightened. I was still sad, but I was down to about a thirty on the SUD scale. Several laughing episodes distracted me from the thoughts I was having, and I was able to turn off my bedside light and settle into a deep sleep.

What can you use to distract yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotion? Do you have a hobby you enjoy? Perhaps a guilty-pleasure show on Netflix? Could you take a walk without your phone? Think about what makes you feel the best and then do that thing! If you’re like me, and enjoy comedy; I invite you to watch Bo Burnham’s perform his song, “Sad”. Equal parts cutting and silly, with a good amount of introspective observations. I had a good laugh. I hope you do as well.