F.E.A.R.

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I’m on storm for work. This means I’ll drive through nasty wind and rain. I’ll be around downed wire, broken poles, and loads of heavy equipment. Lots of flashing lights and loud noises. All for an undetermined amount of time. Remarkably, I’m unafraid. No, that’s not correct — I’m appropriately fearful.

If I hadn’t worked on my anxiety and responses to fear for the past 15 years, this experience would terrify me into paralysis. It’s nice to have such a vivid life experience to demonstrate to myself just how far I’ve grown in managing my mental illness and life in general. But how have I limited my fear response from too high to just right?

A good amount of motivational talks present fear as the acronym False Evidence Appearing Real. Then the presenter suavely pivots, encouraging folks to believe that the real acronym is Face Everything and Rise. I love positive psychology, but this blatant rebranding of fear is simply motivational masturbation. Sure it feels good, but it doesn’t get you very far. The motivational well will eventually run dry and you’re left with a platitude that lost its luster.

I recommend a more practical alternative:

Forge Expectations And Reassess

Fear is not always false expectations. Fear is a tremendously useful tool evolved over millennia to help us survive when life and limb are under threat. I have legitimate fears about helping to restore power in the wake of Hurricane Ida:

  • Electrocution

  • Concussion

  • Impalement

  • Squished between heavy objects

  • Falling from tall objects

  • Falling from tall objects and then being squished by heavy objects

All of these are possible outcomes, but their probability is greatly reduced by situational awareness, slowing down, and wearing all my personal protective equipment. My fears are further alleviated by constant crew communication, assessments of reality, and the high quality of my training.

I can’t approach these fears with a face it and rise attitude. It’s far too motivational, and I’d be more liable to try to force my way through problems just to get past then. Instead, I forge my expectations and assess each situation anew. I calibrate my thoughts and actions to the moment and the most likely next moment.

It’s great to feel motivated to overcome your fears, but I do not believe it is valuable to denigrate fear as the sole enemy to be vanquished. Legitimate fears are legitimate, and no amount of encouragement will get a person past their fears until they find a way to work with their fears.

I am terrified by uncertainty. The younger me needed everything planned out with multiple alternatives. That Gordon needed hard answers and clear deadlines. While on storm I could be away from home for weeks. Not knowing when my crew gets released until probably the day we get released. That is a real fear, but instead of allowing my mind to wonder when I’m going home I forged a new expectation: use this time to become more comfortable not knowing. When I have more information about reality, I’ll reassess my fear, but until then I’ll attend to the task at hand. Letting the future take care of itself.

What do you fear? Can you be curious about why you feel it? I encourage you to analyze the different components of what you fear, and to take time to forge new expectations when you run into it again. Then, assess your responses. Were you overly critical of yourself? Did you maintain a calm demeanor? Could you have handled anything about this fearful situation differently?

Forge Expectations and Reassess - it’s not motivational, it’s practical.